My son Ye Jiale

March 15th marks the birthday of my son, Ye Jiale. If he were still alive, he would have turned seven years old.

pregnancy

In July 2015, my wife was found to be pregnant. In early 2016, while I was at work one morning, I received a call from my wife informing me that the hospital had detected a problem of the baby with the fetal heart’s aortic valve during a check-up. At that time, she was already seven months pregnant. Later, we went to Anzhen Hospital in Beijing, where the issue was diagnosed.

At that time, my wife was hesitant about whether or not to have the child. I encouraged her and said that the sovereignty over the child belonges to God, not us. What God gives, God will take care of. If we reject the child, the guilt will fall upon us. So we encouraged and supported each other to welcome the birth of our child. We named him Ye Jiale, which means “may he be rewarded by God for his joy” in Chinese.

Birth

Just two hours after he was born, we had to transfer him to another hospital because the one where we gave birth didn’t have an ICU. We consulted some pediatric experts and found that during the newborn stage, there was no intervention available for aortic valve stenosis. However, the hospital was afraid of taking responsibility and refused to keep him. With the accompaniment of Pastor Li Xiangxue and teacher Li Xiaodong from our church, I left the hospital carrying Ye Jiale. We ran halfway across Beijing and eventually decided to take him home. It was a difficult decision, but it was the best one for him because subjecting a newborn to meaningless treatments and separating him from his parents would have been cruel.

Treatment

During that time, he also went through a relatively long period of jaundice. Later, we admitted him to Peking University Hospital where the doctors issued a critical illness notice. One day, while we were registering for his hospital stay, I accidentally pushed him into a Catholic church, where we took a photo together and prayed. After some time, he miraculously recovered, and we were happy that the doctor’s diagnosis was wrong.

JOY

When our baby was 100 days old, we planned a DIY photo shoot.

In the summer, we went back to grandpa and grandma’s house, took a walk together by the Songhua River, and also visited the Sophia Church.

In the autumn, we went on a barbecue and autumn outing with brothers and sisters from the church.

Ye Jiale and I often had a lot of interactions.

I just found out that he has a slight “lazy eye,” but so what? When he looks into my eyes, my heart melts.

Spring has come again in the blink of an eye, and on March 15th, his birthday, we took him to buy a toy car, played at Chaoyang Park, and had a birthday meal together.

Admission to hospital.

Finally, not long after his first birthday, due to a minor cold, he had difficulty breathing and was admitted to the children’s hospital. The severity of his condition far exceeded our imagination. We had previously envisioned surgery for him when he was a few years old, but this time, the doctor quickly gave us a critical illness notice.

On March 29th, the doctor said he had to be transferred to the pediatric ICU, and we saw him cry bitterly when he left us, which broke our hearts. But that was not the most desperate moment yet.

Despair

In less than half an hour, the ICU doctor called us for a meeting. The doctor said that now all treatments were meaningless, and hoped that we could take him home. They even suggested preparing a few bags of oxygen for us to use on the way home. If he stopped breathing on the way, we could go to a nearby hospital to get a death certificate. We were grateful for the doctor’s decision, and didn’t want him to walk the rest of his life alone in the hospital.

This was the longest road I had ever walked. I drove in front, while my wife held him in the back seat, crying and shouting his name, trying to keep him conscious. At the same time, we called all of our relatives and church brothers and sisters to come and say goodbye to him.

That night, all of our relatives gathered. We asked the pastor to baptize him. The moment of farewell had finally arrived.

LEAVING

On March 30, 2017, my son stopped breathing at home and ended his labor. That day, God gave me three marks of comfort and hope.

First, at the moment of Lele’s passing, I remembered two occasions when he often cried and refused to sleep at night, and I treated him poorly because of my exhaustion, and even spanked him. I told him, “Daddy’s attitude was not good, and I hit you. I’m sorry. Please forgive Daddy.” His breathing was rapid and heavy at the time, but he responded with a loud “yes.” My child, Ye Jiale, really forgave me.

Second, after he stopped breathing, I went to his room and saw that his mouth was upturned with a smile.

Third, on that day, God spoke to us through reading the Bible, and it became our greatest comfort.

Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

(Matthew 18:3-4 ESV)

farewell

On April 1st, 2017, we held a memorial service for Ye Jiale at our church in Beijing. Many people came together to bid him farewell.

Someone asked us, do we regret giving birth to him? No, we don’t regret it. We are especially grateful that Lele brought us 1 year and 15 days of joy. The length of life, whether it’s a day, a year, or a hundred years, is just a moment in eternity. The Bible says, “You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” The world will eventually forget the name of Lele, but his name is written in the Book of Life. As parents, isn’t our lifelong effort to bring our children before God and give them eternal life?

On Christmas Day of 2016, we wrote him a card, hoping that he would live well for the glory of the Lord.

Now that he’s no longer on this earth, may the glory of God be upon him.

IN CHENGDU

Do we miss him? Yes, we do. Every day. Is it hard? Of course it is. Sometimes we cry when we look at his pictures and videos. Are there moments of joy? Yes, there are. We find comfort in knowing that he is safe in God’s hands, and that he is doing better than we could ever imagine.

After we came to Chengdu from Beijing, the experience of Ye Jiale also helped many families who lost their children, such as the family of Yangbiao and Xiaolan, who lost their son Zimi, and the family of Zhongge and Hailing, who lost their son Li Zhuoqian.

On the memorial service of Brother Li Zhuoqian, I wrote the following prayer:

… My son, Ye Jiale, was my helper. In the past, my flesh was heavy and I was attached to earthly things, and did not long for the kingdom of God. After my son left, whenever I think of him, I feel that I should serve Lord more, and I hope that through my service, God’s kingdom will come quickly.。 

For the world, the greatest success in one’s life is to live for a few decades, at most a hundred years. But for a person in Christ, the greatest success in life is to be able to go to heaven and bring others to heaven. Now, these two children in Jesus have achieved it… By the grace of Jesus, one day, we will meet them in heaven. I look forward to singing praises and serving together with them in heaven. Glory be to our Father GOD forever and ever. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Afterwords

On March 30th, 2023, exactly six years after the passing of Ye Jiale, God’s grace has allowed us to give birth to a younger brother. we have named him Ye Jiaxin(叶嘉信) – in the hope that he will receive God’s reward for his faith.